Sunday, February 18, 2007
First day of CNY>

Somehow, I feel that as the years go by, the festive mood of CNY is no longer as lively as before when I was younger. I think it has to do with some of the traditions which I used to see when I was younger and seeing them not practised now... It's a bit sad that things have changed so much as the years go by... The most important factor which has contributed to this factor could be the fact that my paternal grandma fell ill a few years ago and passing away due to illness. My paternal grandma is a strong believer of traditions who insist that everyone in the family have to be there to greet her in the morning. Hence, it's always so crowded and lively at the my grandma's place... The crowds seems to get lesser and fewer as she got ill and eventually, they stopped coming when she passed away during the third day of chinese new year... I will never forget the times when she was holding on to her last breathe as we rushed to see her the last moments on the first day of chinese new year at the hospital. Then, she passed away on the night of second day of chinese new year...

Ever since then, chinese new year has become so quiet and it has lost its meaning and significant to me.. It just lead me to think about that particular new year when I was at a funeral wake, eating up the pineapple tarts and some other CNY goodies because people were avoiding us. With the funeral wake, people don't wish to be near such inausperous event in the new year. I guess I will regain my faith in CNY only when I've started my own family when everything seems to be anew. A new family with extended family from my husband's side... I think it would be different then... I can't feel the mood for the CNY... is it just me or is it the changes around the tranditions that make it lose its shine and meaning? The whole emphasis on family reunion... Feeling a little lost right now...

# posted by Just Me!! | 11:51 PM