Thursday, August 02, 2007
Confused...>

Currently... I'm in the confused mode...

Don't know what to do or how to make the next step in life... I've been doing much thinking and I came upon a stumbling block..

Suddenly, I become very afraid of the future, not knowing what the future holds for me.. I mean, I do know that I'll still be in school for another 1 more year due to my honours year. But then.. Life after school is so frightening... I'll be alone then, on my solo journey to seek employment...

What type of company will I be working in?? How will I fare in my very first job?? Will I be able to meet my boss' expectation? Will I be able to cope with the responsibility of the job?? Will I be able to get along with my colleagues??
Questions like this just make the future seems so dull.. I'm uncertain of what the future will be like for me.. Especially when there is an enormous pressure onto me to seek a job soon after I graduate due to the mounting sum of tuition loan which I need to repay the bank. It's so depressing to know that I'll be graduating with a debt to clear..

In some ways or others... I've been left with a scar.. A emotion scar of working... The sense of betrayal and office politics.. That fateful internship at Pfizer which reduced me into nothing and deeply tramatised me.. Thinking about it... Put tears into my eyes...

Anyway, I guess I could take a step at a time.. Slowly think and plan for my future upon graduation.. I think I'm just using the honours year to delay my entry into the brutal working environment filled with office politics and mean people... Using the additional time to re-think my options and choices..

# posted by Just Me!! | 1:40 PM