Sunday, August 19, 2007
Total disappointment>

I just can't describe the type of disappointment which I've experienced upon receiving that dreadful reply from him... Haiz... For that moment, my heart literally sank and the smile on my face disappear. It's like there's no more laughter in my life. But then, life would have to move on...

It all happened because of the recent fireworks festival which took place over the weekend. As usual, I'm always excited by the prospects of watching a firework display even though the beauty of firework only last for a short period of time. Also, I've like the idea of watching a firework display with someone which I like. Hence, I put down my pride and ask that special someone whether he was keen to catch the fireworks with me. The wait for his reply was agnoising because every little sounds whicg originated from my phone put me on my toes. The feeling was worse than waiting for my 'A' levels result then.

Finally, the moment came when I saw his message.. My hands were literally shaking with fear and antipicipation because the fear of the unknown is so great. Then, just like a roller coaster, my feeling and emotion took a turn downwards. Everything seems to cumble down because that dreadful answer has become a reality. I was like in a stunned mode... Asking myself:" Why?? Did he really have something on that day??"
Eventually, I learnt to accept the truth and gracefully said that it was ok and I could always ask some other friends to go with me. He did apologised for not being able to go with me but I just decided to give him the benefit of doubt.

Anyway, this lesson has somehow awaken me from my senses that happiness is something that require some fighting for or something which will come knocking on your door without you knowing it. From this experience, I guess I'll just leave it to Mother Nature and time to take its course. Afterall, I'm still young and there's plenty of opportunity to meet people. Who knows... Perhaps, I might be able to meet someone at somewhere special.. No point rushing things over..

With his reply of not being able to go with me, I decided to go view the firework on my own since I was in the area due to the fact that I was in Raffles area to drop the entry form for the Straits Time contest. The firework display was spectacular and breathe-taking... I was fortunate that one of the boys' parent allowed me to stand on top of the stone bench which his son was standing on to watch the firework. It was awesome... The sounds and the sight was great. After the display, when I was coming down from the bench, I thought I saw him.. Him as in my first love.... It felt a bit weird to see your first love after such a long period of time. Perhaps I could be mistaken because it was super duper crowded.

Haiz... It's weird that people crave for love.. Love which can come in all forms and sizes. Such as getting love from pets or the things we do or even the company which we hang out with.. Love is funny. It's something that we can't live without it but something which can give us much headaches at the same time.

# posted by Just Me!! | 4:45 PM