Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Stressed out...>

I'm in the stress mode now... Stress over so many things that is happening right now at this moment that I really feel like breaking down in tears..

The first thing is that my sample did not go as well as what I expected... I can't blame anyone over this mistake because it's totally my fault. I've missed out 1 critical step in the preparation of the sample that it just affect the whole process. Even when my mentor was asking me what could have gone wrong when he saw the state of the sample, I didn't have the courage to tell him the truth. I only learnt of my mistake when I re-read the steps to the preparation of the sample. At that moment in time, I thought of 'killing' myself. "WHY????" Why did I make such a grave mistake. Now, I'm stuck in the middle... Don't know whether to carry on or to abandon the sample and start afresh. To start afresh, that would be a complete loss of time, resources and effort.

The second thing that is driving me to overdrive in my stress hormone is that I urgently need a Waters HPLC to analyze my sample before I could do anything. Without the HPLC, I can't do anything at all. I'm faced with a roadblock, unable to move any step ahead. It's a terrible feeling, not being able to do anything about it. I'm desperately trying to locate the possible lab which may have the equipment. I've even thought of going over to HSA to use their equipment.

Stress.. Totally stressed out... Plus there will be a lab meeting on friday.. The thought of having meeting scares me because the thought of the unknown always scares me, like it might concern me. Be something like a thrash out session where people just say things which bothers or irritate them. I'm someone who do not like confrontation because I know that under such situation, I might not be able to take the stress or emotion, ending up in tears.. I just hate it..

# posted by Just Me!! | 3:22 PM