Thursday, October 25, 2007
Screaming in pain!!!>

Oh God!!! I really can't believed the state of the sore has become.... I believed that if I were to take a picture of the wound that is inflicting the pain on me, all of you will lose your appetite and scream in horror. It's simply too gross that it just turn your intestines upside down.

Well.... That was what my mum's reaction was when she saw the condition of my wound. There's this horror look on her face that she can't really look at it straight, turning her head quickly. Even I can't stand looking at it, covering it up with plaster as soon as possible.

The pus of the wound has start to ooze out and I was forced into the situation of trying to squeeze it out in order to relieve the pressure that was building up and the pain associated with it. I'm truly amazed by the amount of pus that I did squeezed out of the wound. There's so much of it and the state was so viscous. In total, there was 3 outlets in which the pus flowed out; 2 small minor outlets and 1 big major outlet. The sight of the big major outlet is so disturbing because there's a hole on my body. I can see pus coming out from that 'hole'. It just sent shivers down my spine whatever I see it. There's this constant fear and worry that's on my mind..
Will the hole cause any infections? Will it ever recover, leaving a scar of a hole on my body? Is this a sigh of something more sinister??
Anyway, my mum kept insisting that I squeezed out all of the pus so that it will recovered faster. Then, she insisted that I put some iodine solution on the wound. I was like: 'WHAT???' Put iodine on open wound, would the wound get infected??
Then, she said that it will 'kill' all the infection and it was recover faster. Oh man.... How I wish I had my teddy bear with me while I was putting the iodine on the wound. The pain arising from the direct contact of the iodine and the wound was so sharp and acute that I was screaming in pain. Screaming in silent and biting on my teeth... It just brought tears to my eyes.. If only my bear was with me, I will squeeze it to release the pain that I was experiencing now. Thinking that I need to go through that ritual of putting iodine on my wound twice a day as I change the dressing puts me down. I don't look forward to that time, instead I'll dread that particular timing. Plus, my movement has become more restricted because every little movement bring sharp pain to me that I'll stopped momentarily in my track as I let the pain passed. I can't wait for the day when the wound is completely cured and I will regained back my freedom of jumping and running.


Anyway, my sixth sense is telling me something about the things that are happening around me. Somehow or rather, I feel that someone is interested in me. There's a strong gut feeling withine me. Perhaps time will show its true color to me. Just let nature take its course because I know that God knows who is the right partner for me... Praise the Lord... =)

Something interesting happened today...
I met up with Zhiming for lunch today and interesting things happened.. He was waiting for me in the canteen. So, as I was walking around the canteen to look for him, I saw a guy who was wearing very formal. Formal as in office attire... I was approaching towards the end of the area in which he said that he would be seated so when I saw this formally-dressed guy seated with the back facing me, I was thinking....
1) Logically
That guy who is dressed so formally can't be my friend Zhiming because he's always dressed casually. The most is smart-casual with short-sleeved shirt and normal pants.
BUT....
2)Heart-thinking...
Maybe that is Zhiming... Maybe he's dressed differently today..

In the end, I just followed what my mind was telling me... That that person couldn't be him and I walked passed him without looking at him. The moment I did that, I heard my name called out. To my atonistment, it was really him. The well-dressed him... I couldn't recognised him at all, but he does looked good and presentable when he dressed formally. Something different and refreshing...

I could really hear what God is telling me now... He wants me to rest, removing me from my lab to go for the project meeting which turned out to take only 30minutes. Then, while waiting for the time to go for my tuition, the parent called to cancel it. Wow... God is taking the time to let me rest and relax because of the pain of the wound that it is causing me. God is amazing... Never fails to amaze me with His delicate planning for me..

# posted by Just Me!! | 11:31 PM