Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Brother.... Too much!!!>

I'm feeling a little frustrated now... Feel so trapped within this body of mine.

Is like.... Why?? Why am I born as a female and not a male?? Being born as a female in my family is somehow a bad thing because I'm expected to carry out duties meant for females. Duties such as household chores like cleaning of floor, preparing dinner, doing the dishes and washing of clothes. There's a serious sterotyping of gender duties at home that sometimes, I wish that I'm not staying at home at all, staying in the hostel to escape from all the terrible sterotyping that is coming from my brother. Oh man.. My brother is such a "Da nan ren zhu yi" person, kept saying that I'm a girl and I'm expected to do all the household.
For me.... I've always believe in the equality of duties which means that everyone has to do their share of work. For example, my mum will cook the meal while I will help out with the preparation and I would expect my brother to do the washing up of dishes and not just run off to watch tv. Whenever that happens, I'm deeply upset and disappointed and unjustified because what he says does not tally with what he does...

Anyway, the time has come when there would be more tension at home as the exam draws near. That means that I will be staying at home more often to study for the exam. But that is bad news to me because in a certain way, I will then become a "maid" at home during my reading week for the preparation of the exam. I will be expected to do the washing of the clothes, preparing of dinner and other duties. I really dislike that... It's like they are robbing off my precious time needed to prepare for the exam. Plus, whenever I'm studying in my room, my brother will be coming into my room, disturbing me at times. I'm like.... "God!!! Why do I have such inconsiderate brother??" A brother who always disturb me whenever I want to get something done and impose his expectation on me.

For this coming exam period, I want to escape from this insane imprisonment of doing such duties. Going to school to study is too physically straining due to the long travelling time. Going to library is not feasible because of the noisy surrounding and lots of distraction with the people movement in the library. I'm wondering whether I could go to church to study... I found a wonderful place to study, it's the tables outside the office... It's quiet and there's not many people movement. Could I go??? Perhaps, I should Xinyi about it..

Anyway, I'm surprised that only 1 person noticed that I was wearing my new spectacles today. The rest didn't even noticed it. I must say this person is really observant... Noticing all the minor changes that people around him gone through. I wish him success in making his lasange tomorrow. I really like my new spectacles because it somehow made me look more elegant, classy and smart.. Haha.. I guess it just make me look more nerdy..

Thank God for providing me... Providing me with the wonderful spectacles to replace the broken spectacles. Plus seeking the opportunity to improve my vision for my degree has increased, causing some difficulties in reading at times. God really provide and cares for me. I'm so blessed and honoured to be His child.

# posted by Just Me!! | 11:39 PM