Sunday, November 25, 2007
Trust....>

Trust...

That is an interesting word.... Somehow, I find it surprising that Chek Yeow approached me to speak to me about the issue of trusting in God. He was saying that God wants him to speak to me about the issue, that I should learn to trust in Him and depending on Him. After the talk with Chek Yeow about the issue, it somehow got me thinking about it. Then, it just generated some questions in my mind.

What is trust? What does it mean to trust? How can you trust something or someone completely? What are the main characteristics of trusting?

It's interesting to me because all along, I've thought that I've trusted in God, especially during this critical period of the examination. Relying and depending on Him for the strength to overcome the examination. So, when Chek Yeow told me to trust in God, acting as a messager from God, it really shook me. It's like questions started to arise in my mind..

Have I not been trusting Him? Or have I trust Him in the wrong way? Did I thought to trust Him but then I've never really trust Him completely at all? How can I learn to trust in Him more and depending on Him?

The more I think about it, the more I think that maybe.... I didn't really trust Him at all. It's like a self-disillusion and disception. I thought that I trusted in Him but sometimes, I doubted about the way in which things turned out. The moment there is doubts, it shows that I didn't trust Him at all.

To trust means not having any questions or doubts in whatever things turned out, be it good or bad. Thinking back through my spiritual path, I realized that I didn't really trust Him at all, always doubting and questioning my God about the way things turned out when it does not go according to my plans.

I realized that perhaps this examination has been a breaker in my spiritual growth... I've been studying and preparing for the examination and it came to a point when I just gave up everything. Meaning that I just listened to what my heart wants to tell me.... It's like a logical person whose not want to waste precious time to go to a concert but something within me stirred, telling me to go for it. Plus, despite falling sick with a fever on the following day of the concert, my Lord blessed me with a speedy recovery. Within half a day, I was healed, no more fever. It somehow showed me how great it is to trust in Him.

Also, in today's trace analysis paper, I feel so blessed to have so many people praying for me. I really thank God for these wonderful people who encourage and motivate me to growth stronger spiritually. I don't know why but something stirred within me to want to read a particular section of my notes. To my atonishment, that section came out in the exam questions. Also, I was needed to choose a total of 4 questions out of 5 questions for the exam paper. I've no problem choosing the first 3 questions but when it comes to the last question, I wanted to do the question which do not contain the particular topic that I do not want to come into contact with at all. But, somehow, I just did that particular question which I want to avoid. It really seems that the Holy Spirit within me is guiding me through the exam paper. Never in my life did I feel so happy and confident of doing the paper. I truly believed that the presence of God is with me then.

I really need to learn how to trust, depend and rely completely on my Lord. I want to be a prayer warrior, being able to pray powerfully and in boldness. There's so much that I can grow....

There's 1 area which I really need to trust and depend on Him now.. That is my honours project. I'm so worried about it because I need to redo everything again with the new batch of sample and whatever result which I've obtained previously can't be used at all. I'm worried about the lack of time and the inability to obtain result needed for my presentation and the report. The time schedule is so tight that it's killing and suffocating. I really need to pray about it..

# posted by Just Me!! | 12:56 AM