Sunday, May 25, 2008
Burdened heart....>

I feel burdened even though I'm having my holiday before the start of the working life.

Burdened to the point of constant worry on my mind.. It's all due to the prospect of going overseas for my training for a duration of 2 months. I'm excitated with the prospect of going overseas for training because it would be my very first time being away from home for such a extended period of time which will help me to grow up and be independent.

However, the reality of having the need to 'abandon' my tuition students draw some concern and worry from me. Firstly, most of my students are in their secondary 4 level which means that they will be facing their most important examination in their whole education life span. They will be facing their prelims and Olevels exam which means that they need constant guidance from me, as their tutor. It's a crucial period of time when they would be preparing for their exam. Suddenly, I feel irresponsible in that I will be leaving for my overseas training, leaving them behind to defend on their own for their exam. They have grown accustomed to my way of teaching and guiding them already and a replacement during my period of absence might be detrimental to their studies. In addition, the prospect of 'giving' a significant sum of money to my friends who are acting as my replacements just make my heart ache. It's quite a significant sum of money and I rather give the whole lot of money to church than give it to my friends. I've painfully gathered my students through my reputation as a tutor and to give the students to my friends for that period, my heart just break into pieces.

I really hope and pray in faith that I will not leave that soon for the training. I'm praying very hard that I will only leave only in late september when everything is more or less settled when they have faced their prelims and making their last leap for their Olevels.

# posted by Just Me!! | 3:29 PM