Tuesday, May 06, 2008
Muscle pain and in emotion turmoil...>

So much has happened since I last blogged the previous time...

On saturday, it was the building-fund combined service in church. The presence of God was so strong then that tears just swelled in my eyes. During the service, Xinyi wrote a note and passed it to me. In it, she wrote that God is moving in her spirit that she needs to challenge me to stretch out my faith by giving to the building fund. At first, she was a little unwilling to do so because I've put out my stand that I want to build up my faith through regular tithes before I commit myself to the building funds. She understands the point at which I'm standing.

During the time of the decision to tithe in church, I was in great agony then with all the confused emotions running through my mind. God specifically spoke to me three times through my QT and the people around me, using a specific verse then. I kept praying about it and it was then that I decided to tithe then.

But then, not long after the decision to tithe was made and the first tithe was offered, the issue of building fund arised. All through the month, Pastors have been preaching on the topic of money in preparation for the building fund in order to teach and guide us on how to plan and budget our finances in order to give. At that time, my heart was heartened in a certain way that I wouldn't give to the building fund at all because I wasn't tithing then. Then, mid-way through the month, I decided to tithe in church.

At the grand closing of the building fund service, God seems to be speaking to me about the need to give to Him through the note which Xinyi gave it to me. In addition, during praise and worship then, two figures were put into my mind. The figures are actually multiply of 3 of one of the figure. It seems like God wants me to pledge a certain sum of money for a total of 3 months. To me, the sum of money is a lot especially I'm the type who struggles a lot on the issue of money due to my family background and the way in which I was brought up. Money was always an issue at home because I grew up in a family where money was difficult to come by and there was times when I had to go hungry in school due to lack of money to buy food. There wasn't any support for me then especially when I was in JC where most of my money goes into buying of notes for school purposes. I've struggled with the issue of giving for tithing and once again, my faith is being tested on the issue of building fund.

It seems like God is constantly testing my faith when I desired to grow stronger in Him, being more hungry for Him. The first test was the decision to stay on in church despite oppression from family, second test was the decision to tithe and the now, the decision on the building fund. To give or not to give...

I know that God is not concerned with the amount that we are giving Him because we can never out-give Him but He is concerned about our hearts whether we would obey His words. My heart is in turmoil now, I prayed about it; asking for some form of confirmation whether it is really that sum of money which He wants me to give. But, I've not heard from Him yet.

He has blessed me with a wonderful job, the opportunity to kick start my career in a MNC company that is well estasblished and well-knowned. Being the pineeor of the company which is just setting up in singapore will allow me to learn as much as possible with the possibility of being promoted within a short period of time. Plus, there is a possibility of going overseas for training.

I really need to pray about it.... I need a confirmation about the sum of money to be given and for the courage to overcome my fear of giving.

ECP Cycling Trip

On sunday, our CG went to ECP for cycling.... I must said that though I enjoyed the cycling trip, I regret bring my own bicycle because at the end of the trip, I was struggling to cycle back home then. I was tired and hungry then... Plus, my bum hurts from the terrible triangular bicycle seat. I really wonder why must bicycle seat be triangular and not square or rectangular? It would be more comforable since our weight is not concentrated on a small area but a larger area which means less pressure on our bums and less pain from prolonged cycling.

I really pity the males who cycle because somehow I feel that it's not that good for their body if you know what I mean... Even for me, as a girl, feels pain from the prolonged sitting on that triangular piece of plastic called the bicycle seat, what's more could the male experience?
Anyway, I was so tired to the point that I just collasped onto the sofa after my shower and watch a bit of television before I went to bed at 1130. Early timing considering that I will normally sleep at around 12 midnight at my earliest and any earlier than that means that I'm ill and need my rest. I slept like a log all the way till about 10am in the morning and woke up with terrible muscle aches.

I totally dislike those muscle aches for they are concentrated on my knee areas. Whenever I bent or knelt down, I have difficulties getting up because it's painful. Finally, I understand how those elderly people feel whenever they said that their joints hurt. It's painful to be moving about and it seems like my freedom was restricted in a certain manner.

My mum was kind of scolding me that I deserved all the pain because she was saying that I could just stayed at home and not get those pain from the cycling. But then, I think I'm blessed because the weather was cooling during the time at which we cycled which means that I didn't get any sun-burns which I'm quite prone to getting when the weather is hot. Plus, during my final leg of cycling, there wasn't any slopes along the way which means I didn't need to exert any more strength and there was a sudden burst of energy when I was about to reach my destination then.

It was indeed a great workout besides my regular weekend jogs at the nearby park.

I'm so looking forward to my trip to korea.... So happy and excited about it...

# posted by Just Me!! | 12:12 AM