Thursday, May 15, 2008
Terrible feelings now....>

I'm feeling terrible right now... It's like the withdrawal signs and it feels like what I've gone through a few years ago when I was going through a relationship breakup then.

My mind is constantly on that particular person and I'm constantly looking forward to the end of june when he would be coming here in singapore. I really don't know what came over me that I'm feeling this way. Perhaps I'm attracted by him during the whole period of the tour without knowing it.

Oh goodness... I'm missing him terribly because it seems like I've taken for granted during the trip that I would always get to see him everyday when I was in Korea. It didn't occurred to me that I would be leaving for home soon. I think one of the main reasons why I could be attracted to him was that being the youngest member in the tour with the majority being retired people and couples, I was pretty much left alone even though I had my mum with me. My mum was busy communicating with others which left me alone to explore the place around within the group. Therefore, this photographer who is near my age range and having the ability to communicate in simple english and chinese became my company for the trip. It's great to have him around because I would pretty much be quite lonely during the whole trip and not enjoyed much about the trip. Even though I do talk with the rest of the group, they have their own company.

This is a small and simple introduction of this photographer...
His name is Kim Him Chan, otherwise known as Chan to others. He's aged 32 even though he looked like he's in his mid-twenties. Single and he loved children. I really amired him because despite his age, he has not allow his age be his barrier to come to singapore in search of a better life. He's coming to singapore just for the sole purpose of learning the two main languages: english and chinese even though he could easily learn it in his home country. He was saying that even though he could learn it in his country, there was no chance for him to speak the lauguage because of the abundancy of korean language being spoken. In addition, the main reason why he chose singapore was the fact that he could learn 2 languages at the same time with the conductive environment for learning.

His course of study will last for 6 months, after which he will take a short holiday before being a tour guide in singapore for the koreans coming here for holiday. Somehow, I feel apathy for him because from what the local guide was telling us, Chan has gone through a few ups and downs in his life before he decided to go abroad to study. I guess he didn't get a good start in his career which somehow reduces him to become a photographer for tours. That is why I really amired him for his courage to leave the comfort of his familar environment to come to a foreign land.

I looked forward to 28th June when he will arrived in singapore. The time when we will see each other again and it would be my pleasure to play host to him because he has really taken good care of us during my trip in korea. Being the photographer and learning the ropes of the tourist industry, he has to accomodate to our needs. Always asking us whether we need any more of the food and ensuring that we are happy before he goes to have his meals; in the end, he's always the last to eat. He's always that happy despite the situation that he's in... perhaps he's contented with what he has, being able to interact with the people and bringing joy to others. I like him for being able to take things in his stride. I guess most people would grumble about the circumstances that they are in if things are not going smoothly for them in life. Seldom would people be contented with the things that they have in life.

Looking at his pictures in his friendster, it seems like he's trying to put on a brave front with the constant smile on his face; the constant chattering with the customers of the tour group and the constant laugher from him. Somehow, I feel that there's a sad story coming deep within him; something about his family and life. It's hard to explain what it is but it seems to connect with me. I can't really put it down in words. Perhaps the Holy Spirit is stirring within me, compelling me to reach out to him.

Anyway, I will try all my ways to reach out to him. I will try to keep in contact with him through email or msn while he's still in korea and helping him to adapt to life in singapore when he's here in june. Even though I predict that I will get more busy with the starting of my regular work in june and the tuition from my students, I will not leave him alone. Somehow, I feel something for him, a need to help him through whatever that he might be facing. I will be keeping him in my prayers.

# posted by Just Me!! | 8:39 PM