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*Juana*
*loves*God and people
*dislike* People who are late for appointment without notification, People who are super calculating with things, People who just talk with no actions
*wishlist* To grow stronger in my Christian faith, To be a good testimony to others, To bring lost 'sheep' back to our Lord Shepherd Jesus Christ
*etc*
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Psalms 23 seems to come very strongly at this moment in time, especially with the verse of walking through the valley of death and the rod and shath of God will comfort me then.
Right now, I'm walking though that valley in the workplace and at home. Orginally, there are 11 of us who came here in the US together as a group. But as time goes by, it seems like small groups of people have formed which is based on their individual interests and gains. I feel that I'm being outcasted from the group and I don't like that at all. The more I want to stand by by my principle, the more people are unable to accept it. Now, I understand how Jesus Christ felt when He was on this face of the world, teaching principle which certain people couldn't accept and singled Him out for His teachings.
I feel that I'm the lamb sent out into this world and there is a huge responsibility for me to bring the kingdom of God into this world which is my workplace now. Being the only Christian at the workplace, I see it as a challenge which can be intimidating for me. I will need to stand up against the many principles and practises that my colleagues might engaged in which may further outcast me. No matter how lonely I feel or how outcast I am from the majority, I will feel secure in the love of God for He will always be with me no matter where I am. Somehow, I feel that my level of faith has slipped slightly due to the lack of fellowship and getting into the presence of God in the setting of Church. I'm looking for God now and it seems like I can't find Him at all. That's why I'm feeling lost without Him as I walked through this valley of darkness with the mounting problems that surround me.
My roommate has not been very cooperative with me. She has stopped all the cleaning of the apartment and she has become calculative towards the location of the router which is to be shared between us. I just don't understand why is it that she needs the router to be in the living room when she's using wireless while I'm the one using the cable to connect. Placing the router in my room is better for me because I can use it in the comfort and privancy of my room, being able to listen to some online sermon from CHC and praise and worship songs. Using it in the living room means that she will have to endure the sermon which I tend to turn up the volume for better sound and listening of the message. Perhaps this is part of God's plan that she might come to know more about Him through this arrangement. This little suffering is nothing compared to what Jesus has endured on the cross for our sins.
I'm always been trying to accomodate her and it seems like the limit of enduring is nearing and maxing soon for it's getting to frustrate me. Constantly, I prayed that my heart will be magnified to love such an unlovable person. Through love, I hope to be able to accept all of her flaws and short-comings.
